i need my own trademark non-alcoholic drink

now when i go out to a club, i don't usually have a specific drink that i always order. gin and tonic, gin martini, long island, crown and coke, it doesn't really matter to me anymore. i just look at them as acceptable extra calories. actually, now i usually get drunk in the car before the club. who said frugality was always legal?

anyways, during our trip to vegas, rick always ordered milk, for any meal of the day. while i thought this was kinna gross, especially with some of the things we were eating, i also thought it was kinna ganstah (until erin called his mini milk carton at in-and-out "so cute") i usually order water or an arnold palmer, which i can't even pronounce half the time. i thought i was pretty cool being the only person i knew who ordered that, until i found out paul also orders this most of the time too. while i shouldn't be ashamed that i share my favorite drink with paul, i want my own signature drink too!

i've got two in mind right now:
- half lemonade, half orange juice. don't know what this one is called, officially, but i think it's called a sunrise at roscoe's.
- sparkling water. i'm the only one i know, besides my mom, that actually likes this drink. and this would really help me reduce the calories i take in through drinks

let me know what it should be.

posts about babies are usually mushy

this is my cousin's kid. (i usually call him my nephew, but that's technically not the correct term) anyways, his name is zavian. i love this little boy.

but really, i wanted to talk about my cousin's other kid. i don't have a picture of her but her name is kayla. kayla is 17 months old i think. and this is when babies are prolly their cutest. because kayla is starting to understand that people mainly communicate with each other by talking to one another. but kayla doesn't know how to talk yet. so whenever she has something to say, she looks at you and blabbers something with the thought that you are understanding exactly what she is saying. and that shit is straight adorable.

that's all i really wanted to share.

better biscuit

i'm a little obsessed with biscuits. and the thing is, i don't even really like biscuits more than the normal person, but i think i overthink how i make them. i mean, i'm ok at making biscuits. my biscuits are delish when you eat them fresh out of the oven, but once they go cold, they're never the same. but i want them to be better. i want to be the willy wonka of biscuits. just like wonka can make the neverending gobbstopper, i want to make the forever fluffy biscuit. maybe it's the baking powder.

i also need a camera, because food blogging without a camera is just blogging.
guess the macbook camera will have to do.april usually falls asleep when i start blogging.

oh yea.. and kung fu panda is definitely a movie worth way more than its trailer.

"fuck you i give up!"

that's what i think a muscle in my lower back said to me when i was pushing it too hard..

now it feels like dying in my back whenever i get out of bed.

EXPLETIVE!

if i think about it, there are always problems to deal with. and i can accept that as a fact of life. but right now i wish i had different problems.

right now the more i just sit and think about my problems, it just makes me want to scream. makes me mad, when i specifically ask not to be mad.. ever.

and then i keep thinking and realize that my problems aren't that bad. that there are other people not far from me that have bigger problems to deal with. and i start feeling stupid and selfish. and then i just wanna scream even more.

and then i just start walking around my house with no purpose. mad at myself and at everything. "FUCK THIS!" i think to myself (no screaming in the house). and then i tell myself to blog, cuz i haven't blogged in awhile.

to be continued... maybe.

thinking just to think

sometimes i sit in church wondering what i'm doing there. church don't do it for me anymore. i don't get inspired to be a better person at my particular church. i sit there and criticize everything the pastor is saying, thinking to myself, "i wonder if this is why it's hard for me to listen to lectures." i've had good pastors before, pastors that know that the pulpit is a privilege and you better have your A game every week. but at my church, it might as well be freshman calc.

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i've really gotten good at people watching. i always liked eating at IB's on durant, because the tables were the perfect place to people watch. it's prolly sounds creepy, but sometimes i just stare at people, usually groups of people, and make up stories about who they are and what they do, and how they're related to each other.

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you ever realize that the way you see yourself is not the way other people see you?