ham hock

there are a couple of things i've been pondering while i've been sick.

- i think i had a daymare the other day. and it is definitely a lot worse than a nightmare.

- my mom is starting to spend more and more time on the internet. which is 10000000% more time than she was spending, say, 6 months ago. i can't imagine that to be a good thing.

- it's amazing and gross how much mucus i can produce when i'm sick. i have a couple of theories of how it happens:

1. since i usually get sick once or twice a year, during the times that i am healthy, my body is slowly building a supply of mucus for me to expel once i do get sick. though this doesn't make logical sense to me, it still is possible.
2. i fully believe that if i hock hard enough, i will hock out a little man that has been making all this mucus inside my body. then i will be cured of all my ailments until another little man grows up and starts producing mucus. this makes more logical sense to me, but probably isn't possible.

- i am positive that only being able to eat soup for the rest of my life would not be that bad. as long as by "only soup" you really meant "only soup and a steak once a month"

- floyd mayweather, either one of you, you are a little bitch.

have you seen this?

i'm trying to figure out where this guy will go, if he goes anywhere at all.

so let's say he becomes so much of an internet sensation that he makes it to good morning america. is he gonna mumble "i'm yours" on national television?!?!?

that would be AWESOME!!

december musings

i can't remember most of 1993. was i high or something? i have no idea what i learned in third grade. in second grade i remember that we learned to add and subtract bigger numbers. did we learn to multiply in third grade? i was tiny tim for the christmas play. i think i cut a lot of school to rehearse for that. maybe that's why.

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i tweeted something because i was mad after reading somebody's post on facebook. foo's post was just hella ignorant and i needed an outlet to yell. upon further review, i think it just makes me look like a mad douche.

but it's not fair. i can't give context with 140 characters. so in an effort to feel like less of a douche i will give my argument here.

here is what said "friend" posted, word for word:
Only in the Bay Area would you get fined for burning your private fireplace in your home...spare the air? WTF....ITS FREEZING OUTSIDE! LET PEOPLE BURN WOOD!

WTF is wrong with you! burning wood in your fireplace is an inefficient way to heat up your home, and it releases carcinogens into the air, which causes cancer, and also causes baby polar bears to melt. i thought you graduated from college, homie? shit is basic!

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i have this thing where i come up with brilliant answers to hypothetical questions that people might possibly, but more likely never, ask me. for example:

if someone were to ask me why i don't post on this blog more often i would reply, with my chin held high to the sky:
I try not to post something unless I feel that it is beneficial to both me and the reader.

ok, maybe that answer's not that brilliant, but i have come up with good answers to ridiculous questions. just in case, you know?

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