it's what's for dinner, dammit

if there's a sexier green than kale, i'm pretty sure you're making that up. nothing is sexier than kale.

let me twitter dat

i've invented separated replies. i'll detail how they work once i find out if it's a good invention. stay tuned world.

fun thing to do

it's time to just accept the way facebook and twitter make you feel like a stalker and have fun with it.

sometimes when i see somebody posted something "a couple of seconds ago" i text them right away with a reply to whatever they posted. it's pretty hilarious. they're all like "my god, he's stalking me!" and i'm like "haha. classic me."

we should all do it. but don't acknowledge the funny stalker aspect. just do it enough so that when you finally see that friend in person they give you a smile and a O_O.

let's make everything awkward.

100 miles and running

i feel like i should write something here. i have a bunch of fotos of food i've eaten on saturday during the past year, and i suppose i could post them here, but that wouldn't be all that satisfying to me. maybe if i spent time thinking of clever captions for each of the pictures then it might be satisfying. nah prolly wouldn't be satisfying.

i regularly forget how old i am nowadays. i don't know what that's a product of. it reminds me of a time in high school during a dance, a girl came up to me and asked if i wanted to dance, and i said yes. we started dancing and then started awkward dance talking. she asked what grade i was and i forgot i was a sophomore so i said "freshmen". she said she was a junior. she left me soon after that. i'm sorry if i hurt your feelings, girl. i think you were asian. you were prolly asian. in any case, your judgement of my age when you had worked up courage to ask me to dance was correct enough, i think.

cheers to another year. let's eat somewhere.

how i got over

i go to chipotles a lot.

a lot.

but i always get the burrito bowl.

you should know why.

alright, enough with this one line shit, paragraph's here, and i've brought a friend. anytime i've gone to chipotle, or any mexican place for that matter, i've always wanted to get a burrito or taco but couldn't. and i would tell myself that i would go back to these mexican places during a cheatday and pig out, and get it out of my system. i was sure that one time would be enough and that i could just get over it. it wouldn't be as good as i made it out to be in my head.

i was sure of it. today i made it a priority to get in a burrito before cheat day ended. chipotle, carne asada, cheese, guac, sour cream, and corn. i brought it home with an hour left, and was already preparing my "i'm over this shit" speech. this shit was not ready for me to bring my pimp hand of judgment upon its foil wrapped self.

damn.

it was flippin delicious.

what does it all mean

shuffle songs

i used to never like shuffling songs on my ipod. for one, i liked listening to a whole album front to back because some albums just have that nice flow to them, and i didn't wanna be robbed of the pleasure of enjoying that nice flow. for two, it's a lot easier to memorize songs that way. and we all know to look as cool as possible, you gotta be able to sing every song word for word while driving in your car. but also, i didn't like the fact that if i shuffled songs, i wouldn't know what song was coming up next, and i didn't like that uncertainty.

i've now come to accept and appreciate the chaos in my mind created when i elect to shuffle songs. if i don't like the song, i'll just hit next and move on. no harm.

a fried egg, rice, and ketchup

that's what i grew up eating

i love being filipino. during thanksgiving celebrations, whenever i have to answer the question what i'm most thankful for, i almost always answer "i'm thankful that my parents were filipino, cuz that means i'm a pilipino" (yes i know i switched them up mid-sentence and i don't care) and really, i mean it. being filipino has heavily influenced every part of my life thus far, and i really am grateful for it.

anyway, i only bring this up because one of the things i always found weird was how my family, and how i assumed all filipino families, mourned the loss of a loved one. I always thought it a little strange how we threw nights after nights of parties, drank, gambled, laughed the night away all because we lost one of our own. it sounds a little backwards right? shouldn't the mood be somber? shouldn't we be praying for her soul? come on filipinos, get your act together! i wasn't the only one seeing this way, right?

unfortunately, my grandma passed away this week, and as i type this at 1230am on a thursday morning, my extended family is just leaving my house after another night of eating laughing drinking gambling praying. yesterday, my aunties and uncles stayed playing cards until 3am, on a friggin wednesday night! they even asked my cousins to drive some folks home cuz they were drinking, on a frigging wednesday night! yet i don't find it weird anymore. i get it. i'm sure my grandma is loving the fact that we're all together because of her. laughing at us as we stumbled through a prayer we got from the internet. proud because some of us, just one really, can make the best biscuits filipinos have ever known to make with their own hands. and just happy that we really do enjoy each other's company, even if we play beer pong way too much for grown ass people. maybe it's really just helping us all cope by spending hella time together, but it's also beautiful too.

so yes, i can now say i love everything about being filipino. except maybe the whole you have to be as catholic as you can be part. but other than that, i love being pilipino.

rest in peace, apu.

hello? is this thing still on?

it's way too early to still be awake. i wish i could control my thoughts. but i can't. i can't stop thinking about it. everything reminds me.

everything.

i'm sorry for the sadness of this post. i remember telling myself that this blog should never be a release for my negative emotions, and that i would try and keep it entertaining and funny. but the arena for random funny thoughts is now owned by twitter. and i find myself awake, with a million thoughts running through my brain, wishing i had somebody to talk to. but it's 5:06am as i type this sentence.

i thought about working out. thought about doing pushups until i get tired enough to fall asleep, until i can no longer tell the difference between my sweat and tears, until my arms ache more than my heart does. but really, i can't keep avoiding the fact that it was my fault. and i know it.

i have a new love, and her name is kim chi

yessir.

i didn't really like kimchi at first. i was like "what is this shit next to my steve's korean bbq?" then in one of my classes, we were given an assignment to do a powerpoint on anything we wanted to, and this dood gave a presentation on why kimchi is the greatest food in the world. and i was like "respect, my korean compadre." there was also that part in planet bboy where the korean team is trying to ration the kimchi cuz they can't stand the cafeteria food. part of me hopes that the kimchi will magically give me bboy powers. (btw kimchi and fried rice is bangin good)

so now i have a jar of it. i spent at least 10 minutes in the kimchi section of the korean market in daly city just staring at them, trying to make up reasons of why i should choose different jars of kimchi. this one isn't very hot. but it's still tasty.

also, if anybody can read the jar please tell me what it says. or you can just tell me what you think it says.

lovingly prepared by the best

does anybody remember the show "great chefs, great cities" on discovery channel? did you watch it as religiously as i did? cuz if you did you are my new best friend.

if you didn't, i feel bad for you, cuz you will never know what the food world was like before rachel ray introduced the term "E-V-O-O", which is more difficult to say anyway and takes away all the sexiness of saying "extra virgin". and before sandra lee ever designed an overly ambitious tablescape as a form of food viagra to boost her impotent attempt at gourmet home cooking. (ok, really, back then, even i was too young to know what a food/restaurant industry was, or what the word industry meant, but still)

anyways, i'm bringing this up because youtube has a channel dedicated to around 70 episodes of the show. here it is. keep in mind that this show was aired back when profiling chefs wasn't really that interesting to most people, so it's pretty boring compared to today's cooking show standards, but shit, this is the food version of pong to today's super mario galaxy, so pay your respects.

(i've been pretty bad about taking pictures, but i cook hella eggs. i'm pretty good at making an omelet now, try me)

i gave up bread for lent

so i took my communion host/jesus piece outside and fed it to a rat.
that rat transmogrified into jesus, and he told me he was proud of me for sticking to my guns, even in the face of excommunication from the house that he built. and i was proud of myself.
there's prolly a message in that story.

there's no good time to take a picture during church. but i had to. there was a little boy in front of us that had brought toys to church, and had lined them up perfectly. i snapped this pic during the time when everybody was shaking hands. cuz that part of church always feels like the micro-recess of church. it's blurry cuz my mom kinna got mad at me and hit my shoulder mid-shot, the way eyawn would try to block my shot but really foul me in the process, and then complain about the call. me and my mom's exchange below the pic.

mom: WTF?!? what are you doing?
me: FOUL! i'm taking a picture, look how funny the toys look.
mom: oh.. lol

here's wally, trying to measure the size of his face with one hand. frances doesn't care.
(really, i thought a long time about the caption for this pic.)

i'm trying to make a series of shots where i set my timer to 2 seconds and run away as fast as possible.i call this one "rip and run: sorry old man, it's all in the game"

can somebody read my tea leaves?

good news only, please.

man date with ian

first off, happy birthday to bev and to all january babies! sometimes it feels like our entire class has a birthday in january. i have more pictures from that night, but this post is not meant to embarrass you or anybody else, except dian. most readers will notice that i spend a fair amount of blogspace on one friend, mr. g, be it good or bad. i do have more friends, mom, i promise, i'm not gay, but more importantly, there's nothing wrong with being gay. anyways eyawn's just very.... bloggable. and it's fun.

here's deyawn, falling asleep on a 20 minute drive. who does that?

looking everywhere for farmville strategy guides.

mr. g carries this around wherever he goes. he's not a good tipper, but he'll stamp the receipt if you're cute. this better be your profile pic.

this is what ian uses to pick up on girls during his "cafe sessions". ask him how.

kickin in the cougar.

def NAG(not a ganster)

what's wrong with this picture?

if you're somebody like jae, you might say something geographically self-righteous like "if a burrito is served to you in foil, then it's not really a true mexican burrito"

well jae, hi by the way, i don't live in san diego. and i watch rick bayless on pbs, and he has never eaten a burrito on his show, so i can't even know for sure that there is such a thing as a true mexican burrito. also, i think i speak for everybody when i say that you should definitely have carne asada fries as a food option for your wedding, or at least a dessert option.

you might also say that cholula is a wussy hot sauce to which i would say, "leave me alone!"

but what i wanted to get at was that the salsa is on the side!!! yes, very urgent. the inside of the burrito is drier than jimmy fallon. put the spicy salsa inside the burrito, moistening the contents to a better degree of succulence.

oh, but you say, that spicy salsa is for those chips you have there, isn't it? no, you have it backwards. you have the spicy salsa inside the burrito, so that it's hot and moist (skip it), then, as your mouth is flaming from the burrito (skip it), you indulge yourself in the chips, as a way to take a break from your burrito and cool down your mouth.

yes, i thought of every single word for this post while i was eating a burrito today.

my parents might be hipsters

Clue #1: a bouquet of flowers in front a portrait of flowers is extremely ironic.

Clue #2: keith haring portrait. no further hipster explanation necessary.

monkey mouse

I have a camera! if you look closely enough, you can see that that's the great mickey mouse, painted as a monkey. next to him appears to be a soiled diaper, and behind him, a giant beer mug with pebbles and bamboo inside. schroeder, his yellow piano, and beethoven's bust round out this picture. anyways, i hope this camera encourages me to blog more. also, i need somebody to help me redesign my layout.

just kidding. the diaper wasn't soiled yet.

ham hock

there are a couple of things i've been pondering while i've been sick.

- i think i had a daymare the other day. and it is definitely a lot worse than a nightmare.

- my mom is starting to spend more and more time on the internet. which is 10000000% more time than she was spending, say, 6 months ago. i can't imagine that to be a good thing.

- it's amazing and gross how much mucus i can produce when i'm sick. i have a couple of theories of how it happens:

1. since i usually get sick once or twice a year, during the times that i am healthy, my body is slowly building a supply of mucus for me to expel once i do get sick. though this doesn't make logical sense to me, it still is possible.
2. i fully believe that if i hock hard enough, i will hock out a little man that has been making all this mucus inside my body. then i will be cured of all my ailments until another little man grows up and starts producing mucus. this makes more logical sense to me, but probably isn't possible.

- i am positive that only being able to eat soup for the rest of my life would not be that bad. as long as by "only soup" you really meant "only soup and a steak once a month"

- floyd mayweather, either one of you, you are a little bitch.

have you seen this?

i'm trying to figure out where this guy will go, if he goes anywhere at all.

so let's say he becomes so much of an internet sensation that he makes it to good morning america. is he gonna mumble "i'm yours" on national television?!?!?

that would be AWESOME!!

december musings

i can't remember most of 1993. was i high or something? i have no idea what i learned in third grade. in second grade i remember that we learned to add and subtract bigger numbers. did we learn to multiply in third grade? i was tiny tim for the christmas play. i think i cut a lot of school to rehearse for that. maybe that's why.

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i tweeted something because i was mad after reading somebody's post on facebook. foo's post was just hella ignorant and i needed an outlet to yell. upon further review, i think it just makes me look like a mad douche.

but it's not fair. i can't give context with 140 characters. so in an effort to feel like less of a douche i will give my argument here.

here is what said "friend" posted, word for word:
Only in the Bay Area would you get fined for burning your private fireplace in your home...spare the air? WTF....ITS FREEZING OUTSIDE! LET PEOPLE BURN WOOD!

WTF is wrong with you! burning wood in your fireplace is an inefficient way to heat up your home, and it releases carcinogens into the air, which causes cancer, and also causes baby polar bears to melt. i thought you graduated from college, homie? shit is basic!

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i have this thing where i come up with brilliant answers to hypothetical questions that people might possibly, but more likely never, ask me. for example:

if someone were to ask me why i don't post on this blog more often i would reply, with my chin held high to the sky:
I try not to post something unless I feel that it is beneficial to both me and the reader.

ok, maybe that answer's not that brilliant, but i have come up with good answers to ridiculous questions. just in case, you know?

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monterey clam chowdah

i'm very sure that this is very n00b of me to say, but i recently found heaven in my mouth when i combined monterey clam chowdah (not really that different from new england clam chowdah) and tabasco hot sauce.

take a spoonful of creamy thick clam chowdah, and shake a drop or two of tabasco on top of your spoonful. then call me up to say "thank you" for reinvigorating your intimate relationship with your spoon.